


in my head

by bluesxrgent



Series: thank u, next - elu [9]
Category: SKAM (France)
Genre: Comfort, Episode: s03e10 Minutt for minutt, Fluff, Love Confessions, M/M, elu - Freeform, episode 9 broke me but what else did I expect
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-23
Updated: 2019-03-23
Packaged: 2019-11-28 08:52:51
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,977
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18206282
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bluesxrgent/pseuds/bluesxrgent
Summary: I had to write my own version of the minutt for minutt scene because I just love it so much :,)inspired by "in my head" by ariana grandepart 9 of thank u, next inspired elu oneshots





	in my head

**Author's Note:**

> Episode 9 ended me :) rt if you agree

Lucas was finally able to exhale for the first time in a week now that Eliott was lying in bed beside him. He had been so terrified the night before, had worried he wouldn’t get to Eliott in time to save him from the dark. It was Polaris in reverse. Eliott had saved Lucas all those weeks ago by showing him what love truly was and bringing him into the light for the first time, and Lucas saved Eliott now by running to him as fast as his legs would carry him and pulling him out of the darkness he seemed content to let consume him. 

Lucas had always thought he was the only one in need of saving, but maybe their love story had been closer than he realized to Polaris all along, and they both had to bring each other out of their comfort levels so they could experience life the way it was meant to be lived. They were both a little afraid of the light and the dark, but that was ok, as long as they had each other. 

It was a new experience for Lucas, to see Eliott sleeping so peacefully. He wanted nothing more than to wrap his arms around Eliott and never let go. Manon had relinquished the room to them for the night, which he was eternally grateful for. He didn’t want Eliott to be woken up by Mika making a mess in the kitchen or by Manon’s concerned hovering. 

As he looked on at Eliott’s face, completely void of anything other than the peacefulness that sleep brought to it, Lucas thought,  _ I love you so much more than I have ever loved anything in my life _ . 

The moment the thought entered his mind it scared him, scared him by how much it  _ didn’t _ scare him, to feel this way about a person. Scared him because he still didn’t know if Eliott felt the same. 

He forced himself not to care, in that moment, whether or not Eliott felt the same way. They had time to figure those things out. They had forever. And forever could start with right now, with Lucas being there for Eliott in any way he could. 

So, instead of overthinking things, Lucas looked at Eliott and smiled. Smiled at the way his hair was messed up on one side, smiled at the pillow creases on his cheek, smiled at the fact that Eliott’s grip on his hands hadn’t loosened a bit since he’d fallen asleep. Lucas didn’t know how long he laid there staring at Eliott, only that the sun was starting to stream through the windows. 

His phone vibrated and he dove for it, hoping the subtle noise wouldn’t wake Eliott. It didn’t, but his heart sank anyway when he saw who was calling. Lucille. Standing from the bed, Lucas made his way to the door and left it open a crack behind him just in case Eliott woke up. 

“Hello?” he answered, not bothering to keep the exhaustion out of his voice. 

“Hey, Lucas…” she trailed off, seemingly looking for words that she couldn’t find. 

He spoke instead, “Eliott’s with me, if that’s why you’re calling. I didn’t have his parent’s numbers… He’s asleep right now. I’m sorry if me being around him is making him feel worse, I just did what I thought would help him.”

“No, no, Lucas, stop. He texted his parents last night that he was with you. I actually called to apologize. What I said was uncalled for. I was just out of my mind with worry and I took it all out on you so… I’m sorry.” Lucille’s voice was steady even then. She spoke methodically, like every word had been practiced a million times. At one point it might have bothered Lucas, but he was past the point of caring. 

“Right… so, you probably want me to take him home then?” Lucas asked, not entirely willing to do so even if she said he should. 

“No,” Lucille said, “It’s actually good that he’s with you. If I know him, though, he’ll want to leave when he wakes up, thinking he’s burdening you. Don’t let him be alone, please. I-- you might not be the person I wished would be waking up beside him, but you are, and he loves you, so please just be there for him all right? Be there for him in a way I was unable to. Be his boyfriend, not his mother, but be aware that sometimes you’ll have to say no to him or check on him about his medication and things like that. Show him how much you care, because he really needs that validation.”

“How will I make sure I don’t mess it up?” The words were out of his mouth before he could stop them, cutting off Lucille. Her sigh vibrated against his ear. 

“It won’t be easy,” she said, “There will be times when everything seems hopeless, or gets to feel like too much. In those moments, just take things one day at a time. If that’s too much, take things one hour at a time, and if that’s too much, take things one minute at a time. You can handle anything for one minute at a time.”

Lucas closed his eyes and pressed his head against the wall in front of him. “Thank you, Lucille.”

She was silent for a moment, likely not expecting this response. “Any time. I really mean it. If you ever have a problem like this again, don’t hesitate to ask for help. I’ll be there for him if he needs it.”

“Thank you,” Lucas said again, appreciating how genuine her words sounded. He wasn’t sure if either of them would ever want to reach out to Lucille in that way again, but it was comforting, somehow, to know that even though she was no longer in Eliott’s life the way she wanted to be, she still wanted what was best for him. 

“Thank you, Lucas,” she said, almost as an afterthought, before saying goodbye and hanging up. He folded his phone to his chest taking a few breaths before going back into his room. Thankfully, Eliott was still sound asleep, so Lucas just got back into bed, facing Eliott and resumed his post, watching and adoring the little things that made Eliott Eliott. 

After another hour or so, Eliott’s eyes opened slowly, sleepily. They remained foggy for a moment before brightening when they landed on Lucas’ face. Lucas’ insides warmed considerably at the feeling of Eliott’s gaze on him. 

“What are you doing?” asked Eliott softly, closing his eyes again. 

“Just… chilling,” Lucas said nonchalantly. He wanted Eliott to know that he was there for him, but didn’t want him to think this was creepy. 

Eliott peeked one eye open. “You were watching me sleep?”

“I was watching you sleep.”

One of the corners of Eliott’s mouth turned up, almost imperceptibly. If Lucas had blinked at that moment, he would have missed it. “I thought it was all in my head,” Eliott mumbled into the sheets. 

“What was all in your head?” Lucas asked, but Eliott only shrugged in response. 

“I should go home,” Eliott decided, still not opening his eyes. Lucas thought back to Lucille’s advice and shook his head. 

“No, you’re not going anywhere.”

Eliott opened his eyes at last, searching Lucas’ face. “Why not?”

“Because I want to be with you.”

“No.” Eliott turned his head away. “I don’t want you to see me like this. I don’t want to be a burden to you. It’ll make your face get all sad.”

Lucas reached over and gently turned Eliott’s face back to look at his. “But I’m not sad, look.”

“You will be.”

Lucas shook his head again, bringing his forehead to meet Eliott’s. “No I won’t. I want to be with you, and I don’t care if that means we just sleep all day. I’d sleep forever if it meant I was with you.”

“Stop.” Eliott’s voice was shaking slightly. “Don’t say things like that. I’ve already fucked this up so many times that it’s only a matter of time before I ruin it again. My imagination is too creative, I convince myself that I can find someone who will love me, all of me, but I always end up scaring them away. It’s only a matter of time before you run away for good. It’s probably for the best that it happens now.”

“No,” Lucas said adamantly. “No. I’m not letting you make that decision for me. I’m not going to keep running from my issues or let you do the same. From where I’m sitting, you are the best thing that has ever happened to me, and I don’t want to give that up because of what  _ might _ happen. We might all get wiped off the face of the earth by a meteor tomorrow, and then this conversation won’t have mattered anyway. Let’s stop thinking of the future, because it’s so unpredictable that all it will do is cause us unnecessary stress.”

Eliott’s gaze didn’t stray from Lucas’ face as he spoke, but he didn’t respond either. Lucas clasped his hands over Eliott’s and pulled them to his chest. “Let’s play a game.”

Eliott raised one eyebrow as Lucas continued, “It’s called: Lucas and Eliott, minute by minute. All we have to worry about is what we’re going to do for the next minute, forget everything else.”

Lucas’ heart pounded as he waited for Eliott to respond. At last, Eliott nodded his head. “Ok.”

Lucas laughed in relief. “Ok.”

“What will we do this minute, then?” Eliott had clasped Lucas’ hands in return, face coming to life once more. 

Lucas pretended to consider. “This minute? This minute we’ll kiss. Sound good?”

“Sounds good.” 

Lucas leaned into Eliott, who was ready to capture Lucas’ lips with his own. The kiss was softer, more gentle than any others Lucas could remember, and it felt so good. It felt perfect at that moment, no more or less than anything they needed. 

When that minute was up, they kissed again, finding that kissing was a very good way to pass the time in their game. Maybe Lucas could use this as an excuse to never stop kissing Eliott. 

Eliott giggled softly against Lucas’ mouth and Lucas was so stunned by the sound that he couldn’t keep the jubilation off his face at how hearing Eliott laugh made him feel. “I thought I’d lost you for real,” Eliott said, rubbing his nose against Lucas’. 

“Me too,” Lucas answered honestly. “I’m glad I didn’t, because I love you so fucking much.”

Eliott’s eyes lit up in surprise. “You-- you do?”

“More than anything.”

“Even more than bad Italian ham?”

Lucas laughed. “Even more than that.”

“Wow,” Eliott said, ghost of a smile on his face. Then--

“I love you too. More than bad Italian ham  _ and _ blueberry-bacon muffins.”

“More than raccoons?”

Eliott blinked, biting his lip and letting out a deep sigh. “You’ve gone too far now. Nothing can top my love of raccoons.”

Lucas threaded his fingers through Eliott’s hair, smiling all the while. “Fair enough. I’ve grown rather attached to hedgehogs myself.”

Eliott closed his eyes again. The next minute, it seemed, they were going to go back to sleep. It was probably a good idea, as Lucas had stayed up all night just in case Eliott needed him. Lucas allowed himself to close his eyes and fold his arms around Eliott, who did the same, legs tangling together. 

Lucas couldn’t be sure if he had drifted into sleep or not, but he was almost positive that he heard Eliott’s voice, still soft with sleep and filled with emotion, whisper, “That was a lie. I love you more than raccoons. You are my destiny, Lucas, never forget that.”

**Author's Note:**

> yell about skam with me on tumblr: @livvyblxckthxrn


End file.
